Revisit
by kittylex34
Summary: Sequel to Visiting! Matthew's POV! just some insight on the whole what's going on in the first story! A bit of romance okay.


A/N: Here is the sequel to Visiting! I think you should read that one first. Here we get into more details about what happened. Anyway, on with the story.

* * *

Sometimes, when I look out the window, I felt that the world was leaving me behind. The dark clouds opened up and then they close up.

"Mattie!" I turned my head toward the door.

No matter what I do, Alfred will still come in and ruin my day.

"So we have to go the hospital and visit our mother and Gilbert."

I just nodded and got up from the window sill. As I made my way to the door, I felt something prick at the corner of my eyes. I stopped at the door to wipe at my eyes. Then I opened the door and let my brother in. He came in, yelling at Ivan over the phone that he had up to his ear.

"But I am telling you that it didn't happen that way and you know it," he said, walking up to the closet in my room. I don't even know why I let him pick out my clothes for me, I just do.

"Now, you will come and pick us up, right?"

I turned my head and stared out of the window, to see that rain has begun to fall, lightly on the glass. The slight sheet of water that now covered the glass gave me a headache.

"Mattie?" Alfred asked. "Where are your rain boots?"

I shrugged and headed for the door to my room.

"Hey, can you at least get the clothes that I picked out for you?"

I turned around and headed back to the room where I saw that my brother had my room upside down. My rain boots were nowhere near my room and he should know that. I got my clothes and went to the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

"So we have to go now, but we hope you feel better," Alfred said to the female in the hospital bed. She didn't look like she has time to live. Wrinkles covered her face and there were stretch mark from when she used to smile and laugh all the time. Her hair was in gray clumps and her skin didn't look healthy at all. I shook my hair. She was never going to get better. She will always be stuck in the hospital. I don't know why we still visit her, she doesn't care.

"Mattie? Can you stay for a few?" a raspy voice said. I nodded and saw Alfred leave the room.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged my shoulders. My violet eyes stared a hole in the wall over her head. A gust of air flew in and messed with my hair, shaking it.

"Are you going to your therapy sessions?"

I nodded my head. Then I pointed to the closed door and stared at her dull blue eyes.

"Okay, I can't keep you waiting. Bye." She waved her hand and smiled at me. I didn't smile and walked out of the room. Alfred was waiting for me outside and then we made our way through the busy halls toward Gilbert's room.

When we entered the room, I was faced-to-faced with a tiny yellow bird. It flapped its wings at me and then flew back to Gilbert, landing on his head.

"Hey, Gil!" Alfred said, smiling at him.

"Yo, Al, Mattie." Gilbert returned Alfred's smile. "Did you miss me?"

I shook my head but my heart said yes. I will not admit that I missed Gilbert's smiling red eyes and his loud laughter that brought a smile to my face. Gilbert's smile lowered and turned into a frown. I know that I hurt him with my answer but I didn't want to admit my feelings to him nor myself.

Alfred started a conversation that distracted him from me. While they talked I moved to a corner and sat down, tuning them out. I still feel sleepy from last night.

* * *

_"Why does he not want to be here?"_

_"I'm sorry, Gil but he really doesn't like to be in a hospital."_

_"But he's not the one with the terminal disease, I am."_

_"It reminds him when he used to be in the hospital every other week when he was a little kid." A pause. "Listen I have to go. Mattie needs to go to his therapy session. Then I am going out with Ivan. Hopefully, this time it will not be interrupted."_

_A pause. "Mattie? What's wrong? Hey come on! Mattie!"_

* * *

I was woken up from a dreamless nap by my brother, who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. His blue eyes watery, his mouth shaped into a thin line.

"...worry...okay..."

Wait. What is he saying?

Sounds start to mix into an overload of noises that explode in my head and fan out to my ears. I squeezed my eyes closed and cover my ears from the noises. When that didn't help, I turned on to my side and curled into a tight ball. I blacked out after that.

* * *

"What happened?"

"I do not know, Mr. Jones," the doctor said. "He just sort of panicked."

Alfred scratched his head, fingers digging into his scalp. All this was very confusing. Let's just hope that Matthew doesn't have to stay for the week like last time.

* * *

I can't believe that I am in the hospital again. This time I am under watch to see if I will be black out again. No one knew about my little condition. They'll worry more about me and I don't want that. I want to be able to be normal but then that won't happen any time soon. Besides, if I get better then I have to be all by myself. I don't that.

I hate to by myself. That's why I make everything worse for everybody. Alfred is always hanging around Ivan and then mom is always in the hospital so she can't be with me. The only one who seems to care at all is Gilbert but I am too stubborn to admit that I like him. So I don't want him to worry about me.

Why am I so selfish? Why can't I let everyone be?

"Why?" I whispered, my voice raspy from lack of use. "Why?"

* * *

Alfred came in and gave me something that looks like a bear. He said it was a gift from someone.

"He just wanted to see you myself."

I nodded and looked at the bear in my hand. It's black beady eyes looking at and it's fur soft to the touch. Everything the bear reminds me of Gilbert. Maybe I could vent my frustrations out on the bear. Since I can talk regularly, even though Alfred doesn't know.

"Well, have to go. Ivan is waiting for me." Alfred got up and left me by myself again. Just me and the white furred teddy bear.

I waited a few minutes just in case someone was near by and heard me.

"Hi," I said to the bear, holing it out at arms length from me. "My name is Matthew. And people say that I am a selective mute. I agree with them. I don't at all with them." I pulled the bear close to by body. "I just don't think that I would say something worthwhile." I buried my face in the bear's head. My throat hurt from all the talking that I just did. "I-i just don't think p-p-people would want to hear me." I curled into a ball and leaned onto the side of the bed. My head hung off the side, my hair covering my eyes. The tears fell from the tip of my nose onto the floor.

* * *

_"So how is he?"_

_"He is doing better, but he still won't speak to me."  
_

_"Maybe his therapist can help him. I could call her and let you know if she is free to come and talk to him."_

_"That would most helpful, Mr. Jones."_

* * *

"Hello, Matthew."

I stared at the female as of she had three heads. Because I know there is another head in that turtleneck of hers.

I waved and rested my chin of Kumajiro's head.

"I hear you don't want to talk."

I shrug as if to say "What's new?"

"I know that you don't usually talk but maybe you try."

I already talk and my throat doesn't hurt anymore. But she doesn't need to know that.

"Fine." She stood up and walked towards the open door. She closed and leaned back against it. "You really hard to persuade."

I hid my face and curled into a ball. I shook my head.

"Matthew do you want me to be mad?"

I shook my head even harder.

"Well, then why do you not talk?"

I held Kumajiro tighter to my body as she crept closer to me. I didn't want to be alone with her at the moment. She is going to hurt me like she did that time. Please someone come and save me from her wrath.

"Why is the door locked?"

Alfred! I moved my head a little and to shift on the bed to get a better angle for what I am about to do. I huffed a breath and calmed my nerves. Then, in my loudest voice I ever used, I screamed. "ALFRED! SHE'S GOING TO HURT ME!"

That stopped the therapist in her tracks and with enough time for Alfred to come crashing through door. "Mattie? Did you say something?"

"Y-yes."

I shifted further on the bed and leaned on the railing, hiding behind Kuma's head.

"Mattie? She's gone."

I peeked over white and looked in concerned blue eyes.

"What you said about her hurting you?" Alfred sat on the edge of the bed. "Did that always happen?"

"..." I looked at the bear in my arms. I breathed a sigh of relief and replied. "...Yes."

* * *

"Hey, Al, Mattie!"

"Yo Gilbert, how's everything going?"

"Everything is going fine. They find a transplant for me."

"Man, that's good for you."

I smiled and walked over to Gilbert's beside. I hid my smile behind my bear's head and looked at him.

"Mattie?"

"...Thank you for the bear, Gilbert."

Gilbert's mouth fell open and everything seemed to be better. "You're talking?"

"Yep."

"And you knew about me giving you the bear?"

"You shouldn't have signed it with 'From Awesomenss'."

"Opps."

I laughed and leaned over the railing. I kissed his cheek and saw his face flush red. Everything seems to be normal for the time being. Alfred and Ivan are still dating and mom is still in the hospital, but I am smiling and laughing and talking. I even feel like being by myself isn't so bad.

* * *

A/N: Please tell me how this ended for you guys! I feel I rushed it a bit towards the end.


End file.
